Dance

I hate dance class but at the same time I adore it too. Just dancinf in groups makes me squeamish.

Freshman

Freshman this year are over stepping their rank. They're trying to over rank those who clearly over rank them. It's tiring because they believe just because they're whores and sluts that flaunting their sex life and lack of cleavage is okay. We older classman are tired of it already. You idiotic children do not outrank us and most likely never will. I don't know where you think you're going with this, but if you don't stop, we will retaliate. There is a reason we were the worst set of freshman this school has had, and that's because we aren't afraid to use violence. You think no one can beat you in a fight? Trust me sweet pea, your ass will be sore by the time we are through. Don't underestimate us because we're quieter than you.
You think you're mature for ignoring someone? We have to put up with your rumors, with your exaggerations, with your petty fights, with your attitude.

High School

I wonder why grown-ups think that kids are stupid when in fact we are much smarter than they are. Well, some of us anyways.


Then again, there are those weird ass kids who seem to enjoy proving that adults were right in thinking us kids stupid.


Teenagers are quite the same way. Except we look more mature.


I'm describing high school.


Preps: nerdy, smart, can be fun. Keep to themselves.


Whores: Everyone knows their name. You call them for a quick lay. No other girl likes them.


Crack heads: Blood shot eyes. They don't really pay attention.


Cheerleaders: Can be Preps or Whores. Some of them are actually okay to hang out with. Kind of snobby.


Thespians: Theater geeks. Dramatic. Often embarrassing.


Jocks: No brains whatsoever. They tend to prey on the geeks mostly.


Geeks: Nerdy. Quiet. Shy. Usually keep to themselves. Travel in packs.


Hicks: Bad accents. Farmers. Annoying to talk to.


Outcasts: Don't fit in with anyone. Insecure. Likes the attention, but prefers it not to be on them.


Goths: Dark. Usually suicidal. Depressed.


People like me: Smart. Average looking. Blends in with the crowd. Hangs out with everybody but the whores. Easily gains grudges against them. Often crush on people they can't have. Reads, writes, hates attention when embarrassing. Likes to listen to music. Often depressed.

The Letter I've been wanting to write for so long

To my not-so-beloved step witch,

You can butt yourself outta my life and get a life yourself. I am passing all my classes and i haven't failed any classes for awhile. So take that and shove it up your damn ass.

You do not need to be bugging my dad about MY grades and if you have a problem with that, bitch, you take it up with me. So stay out of my life because you have no business in my life because you haven't made any attempt to contact me in almost two years. 

It's none of your business what my grades are and if i had my way, you'd be in a coma because I'd have dropped a flower pot on your head and you'd wake up two years later with amnesia. Yeah, that sounds right. 

You have no business with my dad. You have business with me and last time, I checked, I am all there unlike you. I have bested you again and again so you're pissed at me, but that is no reason to take it out on me. 

You've been messing with my family for too long now and it's going to come to a screeching halt one of these days. And when you finally fail, I will be laughing at you from all corners of the room.

I will laugh at you as you wallow in your misery after you get what you deserve and I will hand you the dish best served cold. 

REVENGE!

Your very sadistic, pissed, about to kick your ass, step kid who hates your guts, 

MINA

Soul Match

"Untitled"

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Kanna

I opened my eyes slowly. Where was I? I couldn’t remember, probably because my head hurt. 

A woman stood beside me. “Hello, dear. You’re in the train station between this life and the next. I’m afraid you have to make a choice. You can be born again or you can pass on. You will be able to communicate with your new host, but you can actually do anything, unless the host is about to die”

I didn’t have to think about it. “I’d like to be born again if you don’t mind. I want to be able to live life again, this time without dying so young.”

She smiled. “I thought you might say that. I already have the perfect girl. She’s six and her mother just died. Here she is if you would like to speak to her.”

Momma

A blond woman with pretty green eyes appeared. She smiled when she saw me. “Ah, you must be the soul going into Ellen.” Her eyes suddenly looked downcast. “I haven’t been the best mother. I was an alcoholic and didn’t spend much time with her. She’s a smart girl that’s for sure, but I can tell she’ll have a hard life. Her step-mother isn’t a good influence and her sister’s gonna be a real bitch, but she’s a good kid. Tell her I love her and I’m gonna watch over her, will you?” She smiled one last time before she disappeared.

I turned to the lady and said, “That settles it. I’m going to help this child.”

She smiled. “Alright, but there’s one problem, she’s very shy and definitely a loner. You were out-going and brave. There will also be some physical changes.”

“Don’t care.”

“Alright then, Kanna, you will be one.”

Chibi Ellen

I woke up in a six-year old’s body.

“Hello,” I said brightly, scaring the poor girl to death.

“Hi, who are you?” She asked.

“I’m Kanna. I’m going to be your companion for the rest of your life. Your mother sent me. She said, she loves you and will watch over you.”

I remember she said something about physical changes.

“Sweets, go get up and look in the mirror,” I said.

She did and gasped. I had been pale skinned and had albino hair and gold eyes, being a weird mix.

She now had paler skin, white stripes in her hair, and her eyes were gold with green flecks.

“What happened?” She asked, a little scared.

“You see since our souls combined, your physical appearance altered somewhat to look like a combination of both of us.” I explained.

“Okay,” She shrugged.

“Your parents will freak.” I pointed out drily.

“You mean my dad and my new step-witch?” She asked. “Honestly, I don’t care what they say. You’re like my first friend.”

I was impressed. Her vocabulary was quite advanced for a child of her age.

“What do you think will happen?” She asked snickering. “I’ll bet you twenty bucks they’ll rush me to the emergency room.”

I smirked. “Yeah, and your sister will faint.”

Her dad knocked on her door. “Ellen, sweetie, are you awake?” He poked his head inside.

My bitch of a stepmother who seeks to make my life hell

“What the- Debbi!” He shouted. “Come here!”

Step-Witch rushed in. “What did you do to your hair?”

“Nothing,” She whimpered. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

She was good. I had to give her that.

“Get dressed.” Step-witch ordered. “We’re going to the emergency room.” They left to get ready themselves.

“Yes,” She crowed in victory. She danced over to her closet and put on a pair of jeans with a polo t-shirt.

I shook my non-existent head. “Sorry, sweets. You are not going out wearing that. Put on that white, flowy t-shirt with those flowered shorts.”

I may not know much about little girl fashion, but I did know what she had on was not going to work for me.

She shrugged. “Whatever, I could care less what I wear. Just want life to go on.”

I could work with this kid. She seemed intelligent enough and she wasn't going to live an easy life. Not with that step-bitch of hers anyway.

Eight years later...

Ellen POV

Ellen

“God give me a fucking break.” I mumbled.

“You used to love Math,” Kanna pointed out. “So what's wrong with Geometry?”

“You're just smug about being good in Geometry.” I muttered.

She smirked. “Maybe, but still you really need to get with the program. You have a test tomorrow. Maybe you'll get the Flex Day this time.”

“I hope so,” I knew people were shouting weird glances at me. Again. For once I wish people like them would mind their own fucking business.

I walked into Child Guidance. Fuck them for putting me in the class. The bitch walked into the classroom behind me.

Kanna growled. 'Hope she doesn't bother us today.'

The fucking bitch who annoys me every fucking day

“Ellen!” She squealed.

“Too late.” I mumbled. “This was going to be an okay day, now it's a horrible make me want to kill myself day.”

My life sucks

I have absolutely nothing going on right now, except spring break, but even that has to be ruined by my stupid Mother Fucking Step bitch. She texts my dad at like four o clock in the morning to yell at him about my grades, when no one gets up that early. My grades are fine bitch! And if you have a problem with them, you can come to me. You don't go to my dad and yell at him when he is already trying as hard as he can. I do my homework, I don't fail my classes, I do whatever the hell i can. So go fuck up someone else's life and quit messing with mine. She asks about my grades, not my sisters. How she got into parent portal is beyond me, which i think i need to do a little snooping in my school's office, cuz if they gave that information, they are going to find themselves with a very angry girl with a lot of time on her hands and amazing computer skills.

People shouldn't go into other's lives just because it's convenient to. And it's not nice to leave without telling someone who is depending on you. It's not funny. It's crazy fucked up shit. 

"Why thank you ______. It was nice to know you're leaving me stranded when i need you the most. Thank you being so thoughtful!" 

I don't think grown- ups realize that if they try to shield us from the stuff they do, they're just digging their damn grave deeper. Us younger peoples, see more than they think we see and yeah, we may not like it, but it's no better than being in the dark for almost half your life. If you see this, you grown-up people, us younger people, we know more than you think. Trust me, we have better abilities than you have ever had. We have bigger brains than you think, well most of us anyways. There are always those dumb asses out there.

We know more than you think we know. Mostly because people like me, we observe rather than talk our asses off. We know when someone's lying to us. We know when someone's hiding something and further more we listen when you talk to us, even when you think we don't. We may tune some of it out, but we listen. 

Because unlike when you adults talk to us, you don't actually listen to what we actually say. We could be telling you we killed someone and you would think we're talking about grades in school. You don't listen to what we say, whereas we must listen to what you say. Hypocrites.

If you listen to what we say, you might be surprised at what we do know. So unless you plan on being there for us, we won't be there for you. You don't listen to us, why should we listen to you? But because you're adults, we have to. You have to teach us right and wrong. I quit listening to your little speeches on morals, because i know what's happening and morals quit mattering the minute my step mother walked into my life. 

Morals don't matter any more, because if we lie, we get in trouble, we don't lie, we get in trouble. If we lie, there's a less chance of getting in trouble, so there's a bigger probability that we will lie. You lie all the time, you adults do. You don't get in trouble. So don't go telling us kids that it's bad to lie and it's bad to deceive your parents or other adults, cause that just plain old fashioned crap.

Well, I have to go, I have a nice whipped cream and chocolate waffle calling my name.

Later!

Another Update

This is another update on my fucked up life.


So on Friday, the 3, I had more bad things happen to me than good things.


Bad thing 1: I fucking failed my checkpoint which means I have to go to school on a Flex Day!!!!
Bad thing 2: My geometry teacher decided to assign us partners for our new projects. Mine consists of a sophomore, a future architect, an artist, and me. Hooray! (Does no one understand because of the fact I'm not very hand-eye coordinated, that there is a reason I tend to fail most projects that I have to build?????)
Bad thing 3: I have to clean my room! People, I will only say this once. There is a reason we don't clean our rooms. Mine is that I can't find anything when it's clean!!!
Bad thing 4: ... There was one. Oh, I got it! My Geography project is not done and now i get to take a ten point reduction on it when we turn it in on Monday.
Bad thing 5:  My little sister likes to demand me to turn my music down. Well I obviously can't say" Go fuck yourself or Fuck you!" So like a fucking dog, I have to turn it down. Trust me when this whole fucking thing with my bitch of a step mother, me being so very nicey nice will stop and if she pushes me to far, it's her turn to get the shit beat out of her. HOORAY!
Bad thing 6: I'm out of chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1:(


The only good thing that happened today was that the teacher that does the debate team said that another student wanted me as their debate partner. That was awesome!!!! Then the teacher said they wanted me to join some other UIL stuff. Still, if i can juggle school, my bitch of a stepmother, my sister, and my personal hell, I think i can manage extra curricular things as well.


Speaking of my bitch of a step mother, let's see what new information i have on the bitch.
She kicked out her own mother, because of her fucking creeper of a boyfriend.
She's threatening to take my dad back to court if my dad objects to her boyfriend moving in with her. (Like he would.)
Her creeper boyfriend is moving in with her, while my sister, while a brat still doesn't need to be over there to further poison her mind, is staying with them almost every weekend. SHUDDER!!!
Fucking creeper that's what he is. Seems like a child rapist, but then again i might be biased, cause i already don't like him.
She's pissed at my dad and me, but then again, what else is new?


On better notes(not that my life is that much better)...
I went to my mom's grave today. I laid flowers on it, since its her birthday. I miss her a lot. I keep wondering what my life would be like if she hadn't gone out and gotten drunk that night. If she quit drinking when we were born. What could've happened if maybe she had taken us for her visit that night? I wonder if I would even be writing this paragraph right now?
I wish she had been there when I started first grade.
I wish she had been there when i learned to ride a bike.
I wish she was there when I had cancer.
I wish she was there i went to the mental hospital.
I wish she had been there when i started high school.
Or when I had become  a teenager.


Everyone else's mom was, why did mine, of all people have to die.