Saturday, March 10, 2012

Soul Match


"Untitled"

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Kanna
I opened my eyes slowly. Where was I? I couldn’t remember, probably because my head hurt. 

A woman stood beside me. “Hello, dear. You’re in the train station between this life and the next. I’m afraid you have to make a choice. You can be born again or you can pass on. You will be able to communicate with your new host, but you can actually do anything, unless the host is about to die”

I didn’t have to think about it. “I’d like to be born again if you don’t mind. I want to be able to live life again, this time without dying so young.”

She smiled. “I thought you might say that. I already have the perfect girl. She’s six and her mother just died. Here she is if you would like to speak to her.”

Momma
A blond woman with pretty green eyes appeared. She smiled when she saw me. “Ah, you must be the soul going into Ellen.” Her eyes suddenly looked downcast. “I haven’t been the best mother. I was an alcoholic and didn’t spend much time with her. She’s a smart girl that’s for sure, but I can tell she’ll have a hard life. Her step-mother isn’t a good influence and her sister’s gonna be a real bitch, but she’s a good kid. Tell her I love her and I’m gonna watch over her, will you?” She smiled one last time before she disappeared.

I turned to the lady and said, “That settles it. I’m going to help this child.”

She smiled. “Alright, but there’s one problem, she’s very shy and definitely a loner. You were out-going and brave. There will also be some physical changes.”

“Don’t care.”

“Alright then, Kanna, you will be one.”

Chibi Ellen
I woke up in a six-year old’s body.

“Hello,” I said brightly, scaring the poor girl to death.

“Hi, who are you?” She asked.

“I’m Kanna. I’m going to be your companion for the rest of your life. Your mother sent me. She said, she loves you and will watch over you.”

I remember she said something about physical changes.

“Sweets, go get up and look in the mirror,” I said.

She did and gasped. I had been pale skinned and had albino hair and gold eyes, being a weird mix.

She now had paler skin, white stripes in her hair, and her eyes were gold with green flecks.

“What happened?” She asked, a little scared.

“You see since our souls combined, your physical appearance altered somewhat to look like a combination of both of us.” I explained.
“Okay,” She shrugged.

“Your parents will freak.” I pointed out drily.

“You mean my dad and my new step-witch?” She asked. “Honestly, I don’t care what they say. You’re like my first friend.”

I was impressed. Her vocabulary was quite advanced for a child of her age.
“What do you think will happen?” She asked snickering. “I’ll bet you twenty bucks they’ll rush me to the emergency room.”

I smirked. “Yeah, and your sister will faint.”

Her dad knocked on her door. “Ellen, sweetie, are you awake?” He poked his head inside.

My bitch of a stepmother who seeks to make my life hell
“What the- Debbi!” He shouted. “Come here!”

Step-Witch rushed in. “What did you do to your hair?”

“Nothing,” She whimpered. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

She was good. I had to give her that.

“Get dressed.” Step-witch ordered. “We’re going to the emergency room.” They left to get ready themselves.

“Yes,” She crowed in victory. She danced over to her closet and put on a pair of jeans with a polo t-shirt.

I shook my non-existent head. “Sorry, sweets. You are not going out wearing that. Put on that white, flowy t-shirt with those flowered shorts.”

I may not know much about little girl fashion, but I did know what she had on was not going to work for me.

She shrugged. “Whatever, I could care less what I wear. Just want life to go on.”

I could work with this kid. She seemed intelligent enough and she wasn't going to live an easy life. Not with that step-bitch of hers anyway.

Eight years later...

Ellen POV

Ellen
“God give me a fucking break.” I mumbled.

“You used to love Math,” Kanna pointed out. “So what's wrong with Geometry?”

“You're just smug about being good in Geometry.” I muttered.

She smirked. “Maybe, but still you really need to get with the program. You have a test tomorrow. Maybe you'll get the Flex Day this time.”

“I hope so,” I knew people were shouting weird glances at me. Again. For once I wish people like them would mind their own fucking business.

I walked into Child Guidance. Fuck them for putting me in the class. The bitch walked into the classroom behind me.

Kanna growled. 'Hope she doesn't bother us today.'

The fucking bitch who annoys me every fucking day
“Ellen!” She squealed.

“Too late.” I mumbled. “This was going to be an okay day, now it's a horrible make me want to kill myself day.”


My life sucks

I have absolutely nothing going on right now, except spring break, but even that has to be ruined by my stupid Mother Fucking Step bitch. She texts my dad at like four o clock in the morning to yell at him about my grades, when no one gets up that early. My grades are fine bitch! And if you have a problem with them, you can come to me. You don't go to my dad and yell at him when he is already trying as hard as he can. I do my homework, I don't fail my classes, I do whatever the hell i can. So go fuck up someone else's life and quit messing with mine. She asks about my grades, not my sisters. How she got into parent portal is beyond me, which i think i need to do a little snooping in my school's office, cuz if they gave that information, they are going to find themselves with a very angry girl with a lot of time on her hands and amazing computer skills.

People shouldn't go into other's lives just because it's convenient to. And it's not nice to leave without telling someone who is depending on you. It's not funny. It's crazy fucked up shit. 

"Why thank you ______. It was nice to know you're leaving me stranded when i need you the most. Thank you being so thoughtful!" 

I don't think grown- ups realize that if they try to shield us from the stuff they do, they're just digging their damn grave deeper. Us younger peoples, see more than they think we see and yeah, we may not like it, but it's no better than being in the dark for almost half your life. If you see this, you grown-up people, us younger people, we know more than you think. Trust me, we have better abilities than you have ever had. We have bigger brains than you think, well most of us anyways. There are always those dumb asses out there.

We know more than you think we know. Mostly because people like me, we observe rather than talk our asses off. We know when someone's lying to us. We know when someone's hiding something and further more we listen when you talk to us, even when you think we don't. We may tune some of it out, but we listen. 

Because unlike when you adults talk to us, you don't actually listen to what we actually say. We could be telling you we killed someone and you would think we're talking about grades in school. You don't listen to what we say, whereas we must listen to what you say. Hypocrites.

If you listen to what we say, you might be surprised at what we do know. So unless you plan on being there for us, we won't be there for you. You don't listen to us, why should we listen to you? But because you're adults, we have to. You have to teach us right and wrong. I quit listening to your little speeches on morals, because i know what's happening and morals quit mattering the minute my step mother walked into my life. 

Morals don't matter any more, because if we lie, we get in trouble, we don't lie, we get in trouble. If we lie, there's a less chance of getting in trouble, so there's a bigger probability that we will lie. You lie all the time, you adults do. You don't get in trouble. So don't go telling us kids that it's bad to lie and it's bad to deceive your parents or other adults, cause that just plain old fashioned crap.

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Well, I have to go, I have a nice whipped cream and chocolate waffle calling my name.

Later!